Mommy guilt...

For the past week we have been working on little projects to get ready for Carson's 3rd birthday! I know, I know, I can't believe it either. Were having a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party and its going to be awesome! Aaron and I have had a ton of fun making a piñata, a Mickey centerpiece, and decorating water bottles. We still have cupcakes and other small decorative stuff to do before Sunday, plus we need to finish cleaning our house!

But with all the excitement this week I've been feeling really sad. Sad because we have a son across the world who is missing all of this; sad we can't just go pick him up to bring him home so his body and mind can start healing; sad we have no idea when we can actually go get him; sad that he has never had a chance to have a party like this or possibly any type of time focused just for him; sad we don't know his past; sad we've never seen him smile; and I'm just sad that our family is not complete. I don't like this one bit. Please pray for our paperwork to come through and for us to be planning our trip very soon!

We love our Son so much, even though we've never met him. We can't wait to get to him and become his parents (and protectors) and help him begin to heal. We believe that God has planned this for our family and we know that the plan is not our own. We knew the adoption process was a long crazy one, however we hope we're nearing the end of the waiting.

We are so excited to celebrate Carson's birthday this weekend. This weekend is about him and the wonderful little man he is becoming. We laugh everyday at the hilarious comments and statements  he makes. I love this age and am completely enjoying watching him grow-up. Some days I'm sad he won't stay this way forever, but every stage of his life has been more and more fun. I know we have a lot more laughter to come!

 I'm equally excited to see him become a big brother. He talks about his brother constantly. Just the other day he brought me the iPad and asked to watch videos of brother. It was so sweet! A funny story from a few months ago I have to share is......
Question: Carson what should we name brother?
Carson: "Tow Mater" (Cars is his all time favorite movie and he loves Mater!)
Q: How come we should name him Tow Mater?
Carson: Because he's brown. (Yep, he was pretty matter of fact. He is a very concrete thinker. So this really doesn't surprise me at all.)

We got a good laugh out of that one, and can't wait to share it with his brother someday. I know Carson will teach his brother all about Cars and we already have started him his own set of the die-cast cars. Since I know sharing those magnificent treasures may be a challenge. :)

So excited to see everyone who can make it this weekend to celebrate Carson. We are so blessed with amazing family and friends and we wouldn't be functioning with out you! So even though I have said this a million times, THANK YOU!!!  (I hope it never loses its meaning.)

Love, April

PS. a sneak peak of a party craft!!!